Tag Archives: hearts

Fireworks!!!

 

Sitting down on my bed, very quiet and alone and all I hear are fireworks in the distance. The wonderful day where everyone goes to the park and celebrates the arrival of daffodils. It’s the Daffodil Festival at Hubbard Park and anyone and everyone is there; teens, adults, children. Rides, shows, and food, it’s a minnie amusement park. Everyone celebrates the time when they know that Spring is here, a good family fun-filled time. And sometimes not so fun. Either way, I sit here and listen to the non-stop boom of TNT while trying to work on getting my psychology assignment done in time to submit it. Yet, I can’t help but think of a time when everything seemed so innocent. When life didn’t seem as busy or confusing. There was a time where I didn’t care what people thought about me and I was determined to do what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it and no one could tell me otherwise. Somehow, somewhere, it all stopped and changed. Responsibility became my best friend and busyness became my secret enemy, it was like a sickness, or a malignant cancer that spread quickly. Yet, I was caught and entangled in it with no way out. And so the boom of the fireworks that I was hearing has now become the pounding in my head. A fatigue filled body, weak and mentally exhausted. The past few months and weeks have been daunting. The trials of life have left me somewhat discouraged and unworthy. The words “Give Up” have been knocking at the door of my heart and it hurts from all the knocking it’s been doing. It no longer is a knocking but a persistent bang, like that of the fireworks. And I sometimes fear that my heart won’t be able to take that beating anymore forcing me to “Give Up!” It’s funny how when things happen and it seems overwhelming we just want to toss in the towel and call it a day. But as much as I want to I guess I just wasn’t built for that. I’m fighting it through. The funny thing is that God has been knocking too, just not as hard. And sometimes I wonder why. Is He giving up on me? I don’t think so, because I know that He who began a good work in me will finish it as the word says. So why is it such a small knock? Maybe it’s because right now I’m focused too much on the situations that the persistent bang is much bigger than God’s knock. The situation wants to hurt my heart and beat it to death and God wants only to bring healing and life. There is still hope and so I continue to stand on God’s promises. God’s knock is the knock of hope and it’s the one that says “Don’t You Give Up, because you are created in My image and likeness. I‘ve never given up, I have never left you nor forsaken you, therefore I didn’t create you to give up. It’s simply not in you. Now Get up and go forward.” When we are discouraged, God becomes THE Encourager. When we are weak, God becomes THE strength. When we are sad, God becomes THE joy. When we cry,who catches our tears? The word STAND comes to mind. Stand like a soldier armed and prepared for battle, because times that are hard are going to come. There is no stopping it, but are we a tree swaying back and forth with the wind, ready to be uprooted or are we a fortress made out of rock able to withstand any storm or the persistent boom of fireworks? That’s where you decide. Whose knock are you willing to open to?


A Silver-lining in my Valentine’s Day Saga <3

So the last blog I wrote “On Valentine’s Day” was a total ranting and raving about how more single and lonely I feel on Valentine’s Day. I compared myself to the likes of Jessica Biel in the movie “Valentine’s Day” with her psycho persona when it came to that “dreadful day”. Her “HATE-Valentine’s Day parties” because she was always alone that specific day came as a commonality to me. I feel the pain, I’ve been there. With her girlfriends around, taking their anger out with a bat on a candy filled pinata for all the men that have done them wrong, seemingly to “celebrate” their loneliness. Even than, for Jessica their was a silver-lining for her, even at her own “hate” party. The very handsome Jamie Foxx seemed to have her same thoughts on Valentine’s in mind which brought, even them, together.

So tells my tale…here I am sitting in the office at my work place, trying not to think of this day as any other day but ordinary. Though, in the back of mind all I kept thinking of was…”Wouldn’t it be nice to get some flowers, or a box of candy from a special someone.” As I was doing my work, I here a pull at the office door and I see a little man, no more than 3 feet tall, he had in his hands a bouquet of flowers, a heart-shaped box of “Hershey’s Pot of Gold Fine Confections Premium Collection” chocolates, and to top it off a HUGE heart-shaped balloon that sings “I Got You Babe”. My Valentine’s, from that moment, lit up. I open the door, and the little man with my mom, my brother and my sister in-law standing to the side, says in his extremely loud and high-pitched voice, “WILL YOU BE MY BALENTINE?” Yes…”Balentine”…not Valentine. I couldn’t help but cry…and there it was, my 5 year old nephew. Beautiful as he is, I was delighted, ecstatic, and he changed my view, if only for one day, what Valentine’s Day is really about… Love… not just for lover’s, husbands and wives…and most certainly not to drown your sorrows on all the different thoughts of singleness, but love for family and friends and more simply….LIFE!


So you see…even though my previous blog “On Valentine’s Day” was what made my sister in-law bring my nephew to me to change my mind about Valentine’s Day…the fact of the matter is that it did. So I still won’t put too much emphasis on this day because I still feel as if it is a bit over-rated, but I can have better thoughts on it and make it the best that I can and enjoy what’s left of it.

Thank you to my family, especially my nephew Jovani for helping me see and being that silver-lining for me…MY “BALENTINE”!!!

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY ❤

i ❤ (heart) u!!!!


On Valentine’s Day!!!

Okay, So here we have the big day!!! The day for lover’s!!! The day where people spend a lot of money on chocolate’s and candy and candle light dinners for their sweethearts.

AWWWW!!!! Isn’t that sweet? ❤

Well…no! Not for me…I’ll let you in on a little secret and I’ll tell you why.

Valentine’s is just a bit over-rated! There you have it! I said it! Whooo!!! It feels good to get that off my chest. 😉

Here is a day that was created for lover’s and sweethearts, a day that should be full of love and laughter and excitement, (for those who are in love, I’m not downing it for you, believe me), but I do believe it’s over rated. Now please don’t think me strange or weird, I like Valentine’s Day. I think it’s kind of humorous…I enjoy watching people spend their money and their time for the name of love and an ordinary day. Heck, I spent money to have a gift basket sent to my cousin in Syracuse to arrive just in time for Valentine’s. Ironic, is it not? Anyways, what do I know, I’m just the writer, the person behind the scenes, analyzing every detail about the worldly love and how it works and doesn’t work.

But…Here we have the typical Valentine’s “scene”… the chocolates, boxes of heart shaped gifts, flowers, roses, teddy bears, balloons, secret admirers and the like….OH, let’s not forget Mr. Cupid. The little guy that’s half naked with a bow and arrow shaped like a heart AND he has little feathered WINGS!!! I wonder who made that one up? I find the little guy quite funny. I understand the lovers have their day. Great…and so they should, but shouldn’t that day be everyday? Not just one single day. What happens when tomorrow, the day after Valentine’s, comes? Does everything go back to normal and sparks die down? So all these flower shops, candy stores, bakeries and restaurants make most of their money on this day. And I’m sure they don’t mind you spending your money either. They take your hard earned cash when all you really have to do is tell the love of your life, “Sweetheart, I love you and there’s no day in the world that can make me love you more because everyday is OUR day.”

AWWW!!!! Dito….isn’t that sweet? I would say it sure is.

But NOOO!!! We want the gifts, the candy, the special treatment. Who am I kidding I would give anything for THAT right now! Well…not really give anything….but I would appreciate it a whole lot.

Year after year…when it comes to Valentine’s…I am still single. No one to call my own. I’m fine with it…..ehhhh…..sometimes. But usually never around Valentine’s. That’s why I rebel against it…(and I will put that famous…LOL…that everyone LOVES so much. I should say I ❤ (heart) U, LOL!!!!

I’m not sure if you’ve seen the movie “Valentine’s Day” but I know for a fact that I’m Jessica Biel in that movie….the psycho chick obsessed with her “HATE-Valentine’s Party”, something single girls would obviously do because they never have a Valentine’s “someone”. Isn’t that a bit stereo-typical of us single women? Either way, it turns out she didn’t hate Valentine’s Day…she hated the idea of ALWAYS being alone on Valentine’s Day and went on this psycho rant about how everyone should be miserable with her. Well…some of it is me…I can soooo see her point and her frustration, but I wouldn’t go that far as to host a party in protest against Valentine’s Day…..instead….I blog!!! (Haha) Notice the laughter in there 🙂

So rest assured that this is not me bashing the lover’s “sacred” day…quite simply, only pointing out the obvious. So please don’t take offense. Just trying to have a little humorous fun with the day that I would really like to like….or like to love! ❤

Most of my valentine days were filled with single young women wanting to go out and have fun to “celebrate” or “party” away their loneliness. So at least we can say, “We are having fun and we don’t need men to make us whole.” And that is true….we most certainly don’t need men to make us whole because we are precious in the sight of God, but we can’t pretend that deep down inside what we WEREN’T really thinking was, “Darn!!! Another Valentine’s Day without the man of my dreams.” Or, “Awwww, look at those couples over there, why can’t that be me?” Our Valentine Days were filled with Sparkling cider and chick flicks and exchanging gifts to eachother as if saying we are lonely but we don’t have to drown our sorrows in beer or cheap wine. Instead we’ll drink sparkling cider and eat chocolate and watch movies while we cry ourselves to laughter or even laugh ourselves to tears. Whichever one works!!!

Amy, you’re my girl this year…I’ll race you to the lines of the flower shops!!! Hehehe!!!!

Ironic…….Isn’t it?



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